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Post by Kouki Sato on Mar 4, 2012 16:19:39 GMT -7
Keiji,
I can't take it anymore. Being around you sends my heart into a frenzy and I get dizzy. There's no exact way I can say how I feel. You are my best friend, so I want to keep it that way. But I want you to know how I feel at least. So here goes. Keiji. I love you uncontrollably and unconditionally.
-Kouki I stand there in horror, my hair covering my eyes in embarrassment. How could I let this happen? I should have just thrown away the letter. Now what's going to happen? My hands start shaking as I continue my nervous habit of rubbing my arm until it turns red. Will he say something already?
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Post by Keiji/Hiroaki/Mamoru on Mar 4, 2012 19:30:59 GMT -7
I'm looking through my papers while sitting at the library when I notice an envelope that wasn't there before. It must have been dropped there by Kouki when I bumped into him earlier. But...it has my name on it. He must have meant to give it to me at some point, so it should be okay if I read it. But when I do, my eyes widen. I had no idea. I fall onto my couch, thinking. It has to be a joke. There's no way this would be real. I'll just ask him about it at school tomorrow.
Later, I meet up with Kouki in our door and confront him with the letter. "Hey, Kouki-kun. You dropped this letter and I picked it up with my stuff when we ran into each other. Great joke, right?"
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Post by Kouki Sato on Mar 4, 2012 20:04:53 GMT -7
I stand there in horror, my hair covering my eyes in embarrassment. How could I let this happen? I should have just thrown away the letter. Now what's going to happen? My hands start shaking as I continue my nervous habit of rubbing my arm until it turns red. Will he say something already? A joke? That's what he thought? that's what he has to say? It hits me hard. He obviously doesnt like me so i laugh awkwardly and quietly respond, "Ya, a joke. Pretty bad huh?" I turn away, tears filling my eyes. Then I did it again, forget to breathe. The last thing I see is the floor before i blacked out.
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Post by Keiji/Hiroaki/Mamoru on Mar 4, 2012 20:26:01 GMT -7
I'm relieved that it really was just a joke at first, but Kouki looked really upset when he turned. What was he really thinking? I wait a few moments, but something is bothering Kouki. I've known him long enough to tell.
When I see that he's passed out, I start to panic. "Kouki? Kouki!" I yell, dropping to the ground and lifting him up off the floor a little. "Kouki-kun, are you okay?"
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Post by Kouki Sato on Mar 4, 2012 21:01:42 GMT -7
I wake up in the infirmary. Keiji is sitting in a nearby chair. I pretend like I'm still sleeping, but look through cracks in my eyes. He's reading the letter again. "I love you uncontrollably and unconditionally," he mutters to himself. That's right. He thinks it's a joke. Should I just keep it that way? I can't decide because I just want him to know, but I also want to be with him. I sit up so he see's me, "Keiji?" I call, rubbing my eye with my fist.
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Post by Keiji/Hiroaki/Mamoru on Mar 4, 2012 22:06:58 GMT -7
While I wait for Kouki to come to, I pull out the letter and read through it again. It just didn't seem like Kouki to play a prank like this. It wasn't his style. But admitting that would mean admitting that Kouki seriously likes me. But would that be such a bad thing? This was the internal battle that was still going on inside me when Kouki woke up. "Kouki! Are you okay?" I ask, rushing to his side.
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Post by Kouki Sato on Mar 4, 2012 23:39:57 GMT -7
It's this. The way he cares about me. I just can't stand it any more! I just want him to know! I want to tell him! I open my mouth, wanting to say 'It's not a joke!', but instead all that came out was a quiet, "I- I'm fine"
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Post by Keiji/Hiroaki/Mamoru on Mar 4, 2012 23:47:46 GMT -7
"Are you sure?" I press. Kouki would be the one to say that he was fine when he absolutely wasn't...thinking this made me look back and remember when he passed out. Could he have been lying about wanting to be fine then, too?
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Post by Kouki Sato on Mar 5, 2012 0:06:26 GMT -7
"Of course!" I say putting on a big smile, "I'm totally fine! Stop worrying Keiji!" it's just a little dehydration is all," I rub my arm nervously again, and stand up... a little too fast. I begin to fall over, but Keiiji catches me. Badum. My heart beats in my chest really hard.
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Post by Keiji/Hiroaki/Mamoru on Mar 5, 2012 0:23:59 GMT -7
I didn't believe him. "Are you sure you're okay?" I ask again, unconvinced. I always worry about Kouki. My worries are justified when he falls over in front of me. I reach over to catch him. "See? You're not alright. Now sit down." I force him to sit down on the bed. "Do you need anything? I can get you water, or something to eat..."
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Post by Kouki Sato on Mar 5, 2012 0:31:32 GMT -7
"Don't..." I say so quietly you can barely hear me. "Don't do that." I'm shaking with frustration and rage. I look at Keiji for a brief moment; Long enough to see his furrowed brow, confused. "Don't do what?" he asks. I close my eyes and whip my head away from him, tears streaming down my face. "I wasn't kidding!" I yell without realizing it. I'm shocked my the words coming out of my mouth. It's like someone else is controlling me. "I love you Keiji!" I flump down on the bed, face first. Hoping to maybe suffocate with the thick comforter.
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Post by Keiji/Hiroaki/Mamoru on Mar 5, 2012 0:49:24 GMT -7
The first thing to hit me is the shock. I was not expecting that. And now I was being forced to sort out my feelings on the spot. But then i realized that I knew all along how I felt, I just wouldn't admit it to myself. "Kouki-kun," I say softly, putting my hand on his shoulder and rolling him over. I kiss him on the forehead. "Me too."
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Post by Kouki Sato on Mar 5, 2012 0:59:17 GMT -7
Wait, what? Am i... dreaming? I mean... this can't really be happening. My feelings are returned? But how? I don't know what to say, but i'm saved by footsteps coming. The nurse is back. Keiji gets off and stands next to the bed again as if we'd just been talking. "Hey! you're awake!" the nurse, ms. Tanaka, smiles. All the boys here go crazy for her except me, and now that I think about it Keiji... "Ya," I say, still in shock. Ms. Tanaka laughs, "What were you boys talking about? It feels like a funeral in here," she walks over to me, "I'm just going to give you a little check up and you can be on your way!"
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Post by Keiji/Hiroaki/Mamoru on Mar 5, 2012 1:07:11 GMT -7
I stand off to the side while Kouki gets his final check-up. This gives me plenty of time to think about what I just did. It was spur-of-the-moment, but I can't say that I regret it. I just hope that Kouki doesn't regret that I did it. "You ready to go?" I ask carefully when the check-up is done.
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Post by Kouki Sato on Mar 5, 2012 1:15:36 GMT -7
I nod, "Yup!" I m still dazed, floating across the room. But before I reach Keiji, Ms. Tanaka stop's me. "Hold on. I have one more thing!" she says, bending down to whisper in my ear, "I can tell," she says, "good luck!" she gives me a thumbs up and a huge, bubbly smile. That was... weird. I walk to Keiji to go back to our dorm to get much needed sleep.
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